"You're too young to be turning things down because you're tired"

Lately I've come to realize that I complain. A lot. I'm hungry. I'm tired. I don't want to go to work. I don't want the shitty section. I don't want to close. I don't feel like going to the hospital today. Every other thing that comes out of my mouth is a complaint. At one point, maybe last year, I remember thinking about a few people I know and how their complaining was a total buzzkill. And now I've become one of them. I used to be a super upbeat, genuinely happy person. How did I come to complain so much?

This morning, it hit me. I'm exhausted. All of the time. No matter how much I sleep, I never wake up in the morning feeling rested and rejuvenated. When your day starts off on an already-tired note, how are you supposed to be bubbly and positive the rest of the day? One of the first few things I thought this morning was a complaint. "Ew, I don't want to take this vitamin, it is gross." I should be thinking "I'm lucky I can afford vitamins to stay healthy." And swallow the damn thing. This is summer break, I should be rested. I should be happy. I should be having fun. Instead, all I want to do is sleep.

One of my friends texted me yesterday to make plans this week. I was telling my mom about it this morning, adding that I might be observing in the OR the next day so I wasn't sure if I'd want to be out late. "You're too young to be turning things down because you're tired." She's right. One of my many complaints is that I have nothing to do on my days off (which for everyone who has tons of errands, etc to run on your days off, it is a blessing, trust me). I was going to turn down plans because I was tired? Which in turn would make me complain that I had nothing to do? No thank you.

The next question I have is why am I so tired all of the time? This one I cannot answer. Maybe it is because, as a waitress, my sleep schedule is never consistent. I never go to sleep and wake up at the same time. Some nights I get over 10 hours of sleep, others I get maybe 6. This should end up being enough to function properly when you average it. I exercise pretty regularly. I'm not anemic. I eat a pretty balanced diet (I think). After looking at all of those aspects of my life, I don't know why I am more exhausted in the summer than I am at school. So, maybe I won't be able to become better rested, but I can work on the complaining. It needs to go.

Sorry for those hoping for a life update, I'm hoping to do one of those pretty soon (maybe when I'm complaining that I don't have anything to do?). I have quite a few other posts that need to be written. But for now, I'm rushing off to get ready for work. Have a fabulous, complaint-free day!

xoxo
-B